很想对你说声对不起
却永远说不出口
心中对你的亏欠
挥之不去
不想失去你 却无法爱你
不想伤害你 却不能骗你 更不能骗自己
如果时间能治愈情伤 那我必须等多久才能痊愈
当伤口结成了疤 心就能停止痛楚吗
拥有一颗不完整的心
我还有爱人与被爱的权利吗
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Secrets - a dirty word?
Is it in our nature to lie?
Is our heart such a mysterious place we need to hide from the outside world?
The value of a secret lies in it's nature, not in it's content.
It is precious because it's a secret; and not that it is a secret because it is precious.
I have a secret. I have a secret identity, and that identity is me.
Always trying divert the attention away from the real me, I try to be comical, loud, rough and rude at times. Be everything that I am not, be as mis-understood as I could be, be as unreal as the situation allows.
The rule of my life : When people in my life leave, it's because they have not known the real me, therefore it is their fault, not mine. It is their weakness, not mine. They are just not strong enough for me. They are just not special enough to feel my inner thoughts. An excuse I give myself constantly. If I don't open my heart, I could not be hurt.
Many things have been done to protect my vulnerable core, my weak soul. Even when I do not give my all, it still hurt.
There are a few people who caught a glimst of my true self, a few short moments when I allow the inner self to surface. Before they could figure out what happen, I would close the door again and they would not know the difference.
If the world doesn't like my facade, I could live with that. If the world doesn't like the real me, could I live with that? What can I do then? I've been waiting for the one worthy but he seem to have lost his way.
Where is my Prince Charming?
Is our heart such a mysterious place we need to hide from the outside world?
The value of a secret lies in it's nature, not in it's content.
It is precious because it's a secret; and not that it is a secret because it is precious.
I have a secret. I have a secret identity, and that identity is me.
Always trying divert the attention away from the real me, I try to be comical, loud, rough and rude at times. Be everything that I am not, be as mis-understood as I could be, be as unreal as the situation allows.
The rule of my life : When people in my life leave, it's because they have not known the real me, therefore it is their fault, not mine. It is their weakness, not mine. They are just not strong enough for me. They are just not special enough to feel my inner thoughts. An excuse I give myself constantly. If I don't open my heart, I could not be hurt.
Many things have been done to protect my vulnerable core, my weak soul. Even when I do not give my all, it still hurt.
There are a few people who caught a glimst of my true self, a few short moments when I allow the inner self to surface. Before they could figure out what happen, I would close the door again and they would not know the difference.
If the world doesn't like my facade, I could live with that. If the world doesn't like the real me, could I live with that? What can I do then? I've been waiting for the one worthy but he seem to have lost his way.
Where is my Prince Charming?
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